what follows is the transcript of a "live chat" that mogwai [well, stuart and dominic] did on the nme website.

stuart enters...

dominic. enters...

[nme] enters...

[nme] linus snellman - who are your guitar heroes ?

stuart jimi hendrix,robert smith,nick drake,and poison ivy

dominic. alex from neds

[nme] laddy "out of all your releases what s been your favourite song sleeve gig and mix " ( )

stuart helicon 1,fuck the curfew,copenhagen last week,surgeons satan

dominic. small children,ftc,asoria (with pvement),max tundra

[nme] nuno proenca - have you felt much prejudice against you for not being a "vocal" band?

stuart not really.

[nme] dave "how different is the new album to the first 2?

stuart it is a lot better.more consistent and subtle.

[nme] chris "what was your favourite show whilst supporting the manics?

stuart stoke or the one in wales were both tremendous .

[nme] why the one is wales

stuart the kids were very hostile which inspired us to rock.

[nme] laddy i leave school in may, can i join the band?

stuart can you play?

dominic. can you fuck!

[nme] dave:rangers or celtic?

stuart glasgow celtic champions of scotland.

[nme] regi_blinker "what is the stupidest thing someone has ever done at one of your shows?

stuart people were shagging three rows from the front at the astoria.

[nme] dave "what inspired the video for x-mas steps?

stuart it was brian griffin who came up with the idea.it's a kind of dark ages meets technology concept (i think).

[nme] stereoandee "stu - why the bald head? "

stuart cause i have no hair.

[nme] lucie moore - if you woke up one morning and discovered you were a frog what would you do?

stuart go for a swim.do you work for melody maker?

[nme] oi no mention of that lot

[nme] brian garthwaite - on young team, the song tracy what's the conversation going on in the background?

stuart it is a conversation between martin and colin (our manager) about some inter band violence.

[nme] what kind of violence

stuart a punch in the face.ask no more.

[nme] big_muff "would you get steve albini to produce one of your albums? "

stuart we have thought about it.he recorded the new low lp which is tremendous.

[nme] seagreen1 "last night i dreamt i was playing the bass for mogwai fear satan in front of thousands of people and

[nme] ..the stadium was empty has that happen to you?

stuart the quietest gig we ever did was in malmo.20 people in a 600 capacity venue.

[nme] dallandra "do you play risk? if so what colour army do you prefer? "

stuart no we don't.we play zelda.

[nme] crackedangel "would you support the rolling stones if they offered you 20million "

stuart of course,even they are and always have been fucking shite.

[nme] norwegian_psychonaut "mogwai - do you remember the time when you learn't how to pull condoms through your noses ?? "

stuart thank you paul.

[nme] burro "what do you really think of the manics though? "

stuart i think they are ok.nick is a fine man.

[nme] crackedangel "would you sleep with me to further you career?

stuart how would it further our career.i suppose getting chucked would give me more time to practice.

[nme] killtaker "were you on e at the astoria show? "

stuart no we weren't on e.apart from john.he loves his vitamins.

[nme] bert "are godspeed you black emperor! shite or catharsis? "

stuart godspeed are tremendous.

[nme] what did you tell mark morriss of the bluetones when you spoke to him at the nme aftershow?

stuart i said that he was looking good.he was wearing a sharp suit.

[nme] scottie_b. "you might like to know that the guy next to me fainted at the astoria show. "

stuart cheers.

[nme] daniel "saw you supprting manics in chester. i thought you were pretty dull. why is there no singer? do you always

stuart listen you cretinous cunt.do you work for melody maker.you wank hawk.

[nme] regi_blinker "fave jesus and mary chain song of all time? "

stuart upside down/everything's alright when your down

[nme] roosta "would you ever want to go on top of the pops ? "

stuart of course.although it would help were we to release a single.

[nme] bungle "who is the bloke speaking on 'i don't know what to say'? i think it might be my dad. "

stuart it is the relic.

[nme] phil mannion - if you could only have rn bru, buckfast wine or kappa clothing for the rest of your life, which would it be?

stuart irn bru.drink of the gods.

dominic. buckfast drink of the tinks.

[nme] devlin "stuart -- nice hat. "

stuart why thanks.

[nme] trotsky "would you ever wish to collaborate with primal scream? "

stuart that would be tremendous.i love the scream.

[nme] muso "i like th use of diminished 9th chords in your music "

stuart we don't play chords.

[nme] dallandra "please don't use the c*** word, that's just ignorant and bad manners. "

stuart fuck off you cunting cunt hawk.

[nme] rednight "i recorded a song called "mogwai are sponsored by kappa". will you sue me? "

stuart is it a good song?if its shit we probably will.

[nme] candlelight "are you good friends with arab strap? "

stuart i like the strap boys.even though they nick our tunes,corrupt my bird,never wash,and steal hub caps

[nme] maggot_hell_wigs "my bloody valentine or slint? who are better in your opinion? "

stuart i like them both.mbv were tremendous live and spiderland is a classic.

[nme] uaj_439 "have any major labels tried to tempt you away from chemikal, like arab strap? "

stuart the majors are always snoffing about.we'll accept offers of over £1000000 only.

[nme] dallandra "did you know that every 13 year old in south east londion wears kappa? that's your level

stuart what's wrong with 13 year olds.you snobby cunt.

[nme] moikai "is it true that you had a fight with placebo?

stuart no it's not.we just disagreed about a friend of brians.

[nme] satan "are stuart and dom aware that dallandra is a sad goth? "

stuart being a goth is not sad.sportsgoths are even better.

[nme] chronic "cheese on toast or beans on toast? "

stuart my personal favourite is cheese and beans on toast.

[nme] boden "would you collaborate with steps for £1,000,000? "

stuart no chance.they are musical rapists.

[nme] american "are you guys going to play glastonbury this year? "

stuart yes.we are headlining the second stage on sunday.tell your friends.

[nme] andy "what is brendan o'hare doing? "

stuart he is happily married.

[nme] katmando "who cares about glastonbury, are you playing t in the park? "

stuart t in the park is likely but not confirmed.

[nme] colinhardie "would you rather spend an evening with mansun, hanson or wim jansen? "

stuart wim.mansun deserve derision and death.hanson need their baws to drop.

[nme] regi_blinker "who cares about t-in the park..are you playing my wedding? "

stuart do you hate your relatives that much?

[nme] candlelight "do you really believe puff daddy is the antichrist? "

stuart he is the son of lucifer.the dark prince.bring me the knives.

[nme] factory_girl "why do mansun deserve derision? don't you feel affinity with them and the other nme bands? "

stuart i think that mansun are brutally mediocre.their artwork looks like marillion they have pish guitar solos and look like a bunch of fannies.sorry chad.

[nme] monkey_boy "you sick of people saying you are slint rip offs. does the truth hurt? "

stuart do you really think we sound like slint?have you ever heard them or are you just a student wank trying to come wide.it seems strange that you have this opinion but none of slint do.arse piece.

[nme] black_rose "that is a reeeally bad photo, fellas....

[nme] katmando "do you think jason pierce has a mullet? "

stuart jason has a mullet.sonic has a bowl cut.i prefer bowlies.

[nme] henry "are you just jealous of devotion mansun receive from their hourdes of fans "

stuart am i fuck.i wonder how busy it is when mansun play america.

[nme] kok "what's the best song on c.o.d.y.? "

stuart may nothing but happiness come through your door.

[nme] henry "but mansun speak to the kids..mogwai are just white noise? "

stuart all relationships are empty.what the fuck does that say to anyone.6th form poetry.i think the kids could do with a bit of white noise don't you think.

[nme] factory_girl "did ac acoustics inspire you to form the band like they claim? "

stuart no they didn't.paul did inspire me however to think before i open my mouth.

[nme] grant "do you think computers stop people from really communicating? "

stuart not at all.i comunicate now with my computer more than i ever have before.

[nme] cable_hogue "could you take mansun if it came to a fight? "

stuart our drummer wee martin is fucking mental.why would we want to fight them?i'm pals with loads of bands that i don't listen to.

[nme] ekok "yerself is steam or deserter's songs?? "

stuart yerself is steam.

[nme] cartman "who's the shady geezer next to you? "

dominic. thats me by the way

[nme] chris stokes - who's better america's sonic youth or britain's my bloody valentine?

dominic. i cant answer questions like that.

[nme] chris morris - do you think that if you played ten rapid to a new born baby 24 hours a day it would grow another limb?

stuart our friend john delf's baby dances to "satan"no extra limbs have been reported as yet.

[nme] bez "what do you think of ian brown/unkle single!!! "

stuart not very much.i think that the unkle lp is very souless.

[nme] andy "the running time of "kicking a dead pig" is 66:06. who's idea? "

stuart i've never noticed that.the forces of pure evil at play.

[nme] uaj_439 "my drummer reversed into your van outside mcm once. sorry. "

stuart it was probably the c.u. van.

[nme] pazzerelli "should zoe ball be left in a room to fester? "

stuart i'm never awake in time to be upset by ms ball.is her show really bad?i detest that cunt chris moyles with a passion.

[nme] monkey_boy "ever touched the ozone layer? no seriously have you? "

stuart i really don't know what you're on about.are you a hippie?as a punk i stand against you morally.

[nme] jonny_greenwood "pazzerelli>>what do you think of radiohead?? "

stuart johnny greenwood is an amazing guitar player.thom should cheer up,have a laugh.

[nme] stereoandee "is the vodka tampons story true? "

stuart no it isn't.we told a guy about this phenomonen and he wrote that it was us that did it.we wouldn't be so vulgar.

[nme] dave "are you a fan of death metal "

stuart i prefer black metal actually.young men with a good attitude towards life and religion.are you there mr grishnakk

[nme] cartman "have you ever been on the thunder looper in strathclyde park? was it scary? "

stuart the big wheel is a personal favourite of mine.the all night asda is fast becoming my new top night spot.

[nme] andy "how do you think about bell & sebatian? "

stuart i like those young scamps.wee stuartie has a good ear for a tune.

[nme] cider "oasis, rock visionaries or in need of a hard slap? "

stuart oasis are the best of a pretty lame bunch.they've let it slip a bit lately though don't you think.

[nme] weirdo "what do you think of blur's new single? "

stuart i think it's mince.a piss poor spiritualised pastiche.grahams cheeky chords sound woefully out of place.

[nme] cu_office_monkey "when do you plan to wash next? "

stuart i am recently cleansed you cheeky fucker.graham,andy,do-gooders .you are all fucking sacked.

[nme] adam browning - why the hell the uncle fester look?

stuart why not.

[nme] clark taylor - why do you let aidan moffat sing over some of your songs, he clearly can't sing?

stuart aiden is one of the best singers in the world you ignorant fucker.just cause he doesn't put on a stupid cockney accent.

[nme] oliver james heppell - how do you rate the beta band's chances, with their forthcoming lp

stuart i'm not that into the beta band.their gig in glasgow was the only gig i can remember ever walking out of.i'm sure the kids will fall for it hook line and sinker as usual.

[nme] cu_office_monkey "what do you mean cleansed? you are still wearing the same clothes you had on last week

[nme] bez "happy mondays reform what dya think?

stuart i love the mondays.i can't wait to see what kind of nick their all in.bez is a hero.

[nme] monkey_boy "fugazi fan? "

dominic. fugazi are my favorite band in the world ever.

[nme] roosta "who is the best band of the last 10 years or so ? "

stuart low and labradford are the best if you ask me.

[nme] dave "would you write a song for boyzone for all the ganja in the world. "

stuart i don't smoke.boyzone however could do with the help.

[nme] dave "seen as im the only irish person here, can i get a free pass to the dublin gig in march>??? "

stuart no.only if you bring us a bag of tatties.

[nme] ekok "what's with the glasgow gang fascination? "

stuart after years of trying to avoid getting our cunts kicked in we developed a twisted fascination with hooligans.

stuart can the guy who keeps asking about cha cha cohen please fuck off.

stuart we're away for dinner now.thanks for asking stuff.please buy our album.cheers.plasmatron xxxxxxxx

dominic. i enjoyed answering two questions .cheers see ya.

[nme] thanks to mogwai for everything - the transcript will be up soon. anthony

[nme] leaves...

stuart leaves...